Release

The past is gone and today I wake up and feel freer than the day before. My day is not burdened by what happened last night, by the expectations that I would have held on to or by the easier-said-than-done task of keeping everybody happy. Those mental schematics fell through the shallow floor into the nothingness they came out of. I could have tried to control how the night went but I knew I was out of my league and doing that would have created more stress and worry. And so, we started off with so-and-so number of people and slowly they all went their separate but clustered ways. And I don't resent them for it, although the past 'me' would have felt very beaten and ashamed and let down. One could take it as a metaphor for the life experience, but then again one could take any part of the whole and see in it reflected the whole. No surprises there.

This morning I woke up and I am still here. I realise I am. And the frail defenses against the enemies of no one have been taken down.

I figure that anyone reading this blog, likely someone that knows me over someone that doesn't, would not particularly understand what I am talking about, or where I come from. The words paint a picture that I have not so far been able to see from another point of view but my own. To me, it is sometimes clear, sometimes deliberately not. To others... I don't know. This is 'my' space, and if all the writing were to disappear from the site, I would still remain.