After Death

Sometime you just gotta let yourself fall to pieces, if only to find out who you are underneath the rubble. Yes, it hurts to be, you can hear your heart creak as you take in a procrastinated breath of air. You hit the point of disorientation, where the way home is no longer the way you're going, and you're desperate to find a place of security, a rock maybe, where you can sit or lean and think and make sense of the senselessness that is what's happened. Questions arise, moment by moment pass and further the calamity edges away towards the horizon. Soon you'll be able to see the outlines of disaster as they zoom out into view, and your expression will turn ashen. Disbelief and belief are here, each having their own opinion as to what happened, nearing the orgasmic second of release where they can tell you what they think. And you'll listen, and it likely won't make sense. How could this happen? Life is questioned, justice too. On the chair, later, life will be interrogated at gunpoint. But before that, the dust has to at least settle a little bit, so as to reveal the clouds in the sky, though they may be many, at least they will be discernible against the background of grey. So, put it together, one puzzle piece at a time. Don't worry about trying to do it right but fearing you may do it wrong. Just see where the little bits fit. Gradually, details emerge, leading to the truth. Here, you have the option to turn away, or to face it. The previous is but a road that eventually leads to the latter.

Eventually, after tears, pain, realisation, comes the awareness of the ever-present stream of peace, just gurgling, silent, within. Then, there still may be tears and pain. But at least you'll know that you won't have lost yourself among the ruins. Open your palms and place them cupped in the river, and feel peace between your pores, ruminate and heal. Your wounds are not forever. Your peace, however, is, and it will be with you so long as you choose to keep it. Hold on, for what you hold dearest within, you cannot lose without.