Afterthought

Horizontally, they play the keys on the piano
together, never how we used to be. I am
waiting on my bed - no. I am not waiting.
I thought I saw the little words, I read them -
no. I skipped some. Never yours. Never mine.
Planned our future, blueprints for my lie,
and unfurled it lies next to me, in your spot.
I look now and see that there's nothing there.
There's relief, there's an unencumbering, then
there's the question of the space to be filled.
You were never meant to be here, you were not
the one. Funny how I held on, clipped to a wisp
from a thought, in the hush of an angel's wingbeat,
yelling out at echoes. Tipsy, burned clean,
we stand not hand in hand but keys apart,
in the same symphony, notes for another heart.

The Walls Came Down

Wounded is my pride that I carry with me on my back. Yes, it aches. As I am caught between a senseless conflict between the illusion of greatness without foundation and the probing lasers of the observers. The latter feeds what is seen to the cycle mind, the mind on repeat. It's a war of projection in which there are no casualties but egos. I am thus left with a mood of inevitability, a sentiment of somehow missing my worth and my devotion while I am carried, weightless, to a new place.

I imagine I am floating, drifting, going where the wind takes me. It's quite apparent in this state that my emotions have been numbed and distanced from the limbs of my body so that they merely feel within me, without attachment. As peculiar as this may be, it is close to a freedom I did not envision. I can smile, but I do not find a drive to. My pride, the fortress of it, is crumbling into the dust from whence it manifested itself. I could shed tears if I held on, but I couldn't. I let go, and in limbo is not where I expected to be. I feel relieved that I was not suppressed aside and merely left to walk out through the gates as the walls burned and the sky turned a dissimilar shade of blue. I did not come out on horseback or in a carriage named Peace. I simply ambled down the path and the threshold was passable. I went through and in the next few shots, the citadel behind me, is falling. Falling.

I am no more. No more.

There is nothing left in the wreckage. The ruins deconstruct themselves as effervescent structures. Out of mind, they go. The dust cloud is clearing and soon the way will be free of distraction or blurriness. There will be vision. There will be truth. And there will be no corners nor shadows where there are no walls. No places for fear to hide, it has to finally see itself under the yonder, among the plains.

This place, the barren, the past forgotten and the now remembered, has always been here. From here, do I truly begin. As the seed in the soil, I lift up through to the light, and I flourish, unhindered. In this empty place, a wonder grows.

Suddenly, I see the things I used to see so differently,
I feel as if I've found a new reality.
Suddenly, the noise outside my window is a symphony,
A symphony of endless possibility, right in front of me.

Suddenly, I understand the meaning of eternity.
I'm reaching out my hand to touch you,
Now I see, suddenly.

Adieu

One day, we will say
We used to be okay
Before all of this happened.
It's tiring now
Those dreams we fought for
Will never come true
As we thought they would.
They never do

Everybody loses something
Somebody sings about it
Everybody fights for nothing
Somebody cries about it
Nobody lifts their gaze
Anybody can ignore
Nobody remembers grace
Everybody smiles no more.

Adieu, mon feu, adieu,
Personne ne peut entendre
Rien ne peut surprendre
Ceux qui se détournent de tout.

Adieu, mes yeux, adieu,
La vie morose vous attend
Si vous restez endormis
Lorsqu'il pleut... adieu, adieu.

Will anybody be somebody true,
Will somebody bring anybody through?
Will everybody cease sleepwalking
When there's nobody else left talking?

Am I just a simple step away
From falling off the edge?
Is this wind that makes me sway
About to predicate revenge?

Oh it's sweet
Oh so sweet,
So bitter, bitter, bitter sweet.
My last adieu
Shall be from me
And in its symphony
I will be set free.