Missed Opportunity

This didn't seem to be
In need of counselling,
But wait, it's the call of hesitation
That I find me waiting on.

Maybe it's naive to think,
To think I know to think,
Keep the emotion buttoned down -
Why let it slip away?

It's like waiting on authority
For answer. For the sign.
Did I miss it, hands in pockets,
Watching the world be round?

I can't help but run out
For the answers to be read
And when I'm to ever get there,
Silence reads instead.

Spot me sitting a seat away,
Waiting for the words to say,
Holding me captive in mentality,
Bested burden, waiting prey.

Answer me. Answer me.
You said you would when I'd call.
So did I miss your ring
Out of the context I was in?

I tried not to think,
As I now avoid to dwell,
And the prayer that I sink,
Addresses this species of hell.

God, I don't know it any all.
"Don't be fooled", I tried the same,
But why did I not talk?
Is that the question?

Hesitation translates to regret,
And what is, is.
And if we never would have met,
The moment, would I seize?

I'm breathing. Just tell me, man,
What do I do? I implore you,
The pieces I've pieced together
Don't fit to me. Yet,

Where do we go from here?
How do we carry on?
To the answer that you'll give,
What is the question?

What do I ask, to know the truth?
Find me.
Find me.
Find me.

Focus And Delivery

Greetings are in order. Hi. Salut.

Headphones on, here's an attempt at channeling emotion into a piece of writing. Self-conscious this one. The consensus that I've discovered indicates that one needs to be in a place of sentimental disturbance for one to churn out a particular strand of art. For example, that one needs to be sad in order to funnel the feeling into a piece of art which will embody the tristesse that they initially felt. A case of lightening a load, or rather transferring energy from the body into an object where one can clearly see it, thereby looking at a reflection. Is art a mirror? Could this piece of writing that I see as pixels on a light screen be a mirror of my inner questions? Sure. I'll go for that. I've heard many a time before how the world is our mirror. We see outwards what we feel inwards. A case of projection. Call it, if you like, your own special pair of glasses that you wear and perceive the world through. Your oyster. If it tastes like crap, it might just be your taste buds. Or not. It could be your act of projecting crap onto the oyster. Like you have a grapefruit before you eat the oyster. Nasty aftertaste? My point is, we have what we ask for. Ask and ye shall receive. Oh that phrase is in a plethora of books, Bible included.

The paragraph above is infused with a myriad of words and phrases, some that clash. Some invoke the senses, some bore, some may remind of a self-help book, some of a French dictionary. In any case, I wish to know if consistency is a factor that needs be considered. Should I have to explain how I feel in a particular way and be consistent with that throughout the piece? No. Got the answer. The reason being that I feel all the emotions that I describe above; it feels all over the place when I take a step back and see it as a whole picture. It's the details that come together to form the mixture. There's a worry that it might be too mixed to discern the individual details and to some, maybe, I say maybe, it might be too difficult to make out any patterns at all. Blah blah blah.

The point? Umm... little focus. On and on and on, place to place, word to word, until a trail appears. My headphones are off and I can now speak. Hear my voice:

Learn from this. Know that your attention is where you will get your results. The world is your canvas, your sight is the picture. The paintbrush and colour palette are in your hands, and all you have to do is see what you want to paint. You don't need to know how. And if you now know that you can paint on the canvas anything - anything - that you want, then paint that. See it, feel it. Focus on it. Make it the centre and then watch, notice, appreciate, how the world spins its web of rainbows onto the canvas, your oyster, your world, your experience.

Seek and you shall find. Ask and you shall receive. Knock and the door will be opened.
What you have sought has always been found. What you have asked for has always been what you have received. The doors that you have knocked on have always been opened.