Signposts On A Journey Within

Alien.
Sometimes we're just caught up in a bad romance: where things aren't what they seem, where what we say isn't what we mean, and who we talk to is not who we are talking to. Flirting with what, exactly? I cannot speak to you because the words I say do not mean the same to you as they do to me. I speak from my horizon, and you hear with yours, and so you selectively hear only what goes through your filter. I wish we could see each other for who we are, filterless. We aren't quite there yet, and that I accept. Much progress has been made however, many steps have been taken inwards. The outward shell has changed too, almost to the point of being alien to the past. One could say it is alien to the past because it's so different. And yet, it doesn't even matter because of course, we are here now, not yesterday, not before, not any time before yesterday.

Beneath this dance with illusion and mistaking what is unreal for the real, lies a struggle. A conflict, not of essence, but of perception. Essence is whole and therefore untouchable, but we seem to be able to perceive things differently from what they are. 'Why?' would be a fair question to ask at this point, but I'll move past it to get to what I wish to say. We appear to be uncertain of the world, to be transfixed by an apparently endless amount of possibilities and if...so statements. To clarify our blurry picture, we have dug our past out of our minds and brought it to the present, thinking that the answer is somewhere in our rubbish bins. Recycling repeats history. So we have had wars. We have had fighting. Cyclically. Internally and externally, we fight against/for a future with our past swords and guns. We arrive at a point of stalemate when we realise this conflict will restart if the rules do not change. Is there a winner? No, there is no loser. There is nothing to gain. Yet we think there is, so we continue fighting. Our essence remains intact, unaffected by our masquerading.

And that's where it is now. Still here, still at peace. I can feel a desire in me to really express the urgency or the sheer want to be at peace that I share with everyone, but I have clouded mine over with my fight. I stopped now. I really wish I would make the choice and be at peace forever. I will get there. I really will. I know it. Until then I will continue to be a light of the world, and shine as brightly as I can, through my illusions until they are dispelled. This, then, is a process that has the destination of forever, of presence, of now. Sooner is better than later, but it makes no difference in eternity, where there is, really, no time. That sounds like fiction, but the truth of it is untouchable, it's essential.

And this essential truth is oneness. And my words betray it. And my words know not of the truth. And my words are not the truth. But my words point to the truth. It's a journey that we have to walk ourselves. We are guided along the way, for sure, but we must walk back to truth just like we walked away from it. And in our journey we gain awareness. And we become conscious of our wholeness. And of our peace.

And we are not aliens, nor actors, nor characters, nor puppets, nor puppeteers. We simply are. And it doesn't make sense on the level of the mind. And it's conceptually disturbing. And it's twisted. Yet it's clear, because it's real, but it looks blurry when seen through unfocused lenses.

Just like a dream, you are not what you seem.

And it isn't what it seems. We are told what we should believe. We are told that if we believe one thing above another we will suffer. And we are scared, so we choose what we think makes us least scared, and we end up scared anyway. Why would we choose to be unhappy? Because we do not see the 'un'. So, again, we selectively pick out what we wish to see and that becomes our horizon through which we perceive the world. Distortion occurs, and we have pain. Reality lies intact, but the inability to see it for what it is is painful, because it resists. The truth sets us free precisely because it is peaceful, it is aligned, it is not in conflict with what is because it is what is.

And the metaphysical nature of what is currently being read by the reader might seem alien. It's a perspective. I don't know if how I see the world is how it is, because the inexistent realm of possibility can make it seem like it can be anything. Enter fear, shutting the door behind and giving you the key. Unlock it, if you dare. This is how I see it. Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone. I hear you call my name, and it feels like home. I measure how I see things by how they feel to me. But feelings are ephemeral, so more than that, I let the feelings come and from what they show me and from what I know, I make a decision whether I would like that feeling again. This is how I change my behavior. There is a simple relationship here - I do the things that make me happy and avoid those that don't. I see things that make me unhappy sometimes as things that make me happy. And in those cases, I learn from my misperception. And increasingly I become aware of something more. The pillar of strength that allows me to make such decisions, to feel, to know. I am conscious of its presence. Is it God?

It's another signpost on my journey within.